never play flip cup with pint glasses
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
