Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
high people should be assigned attendants
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
