Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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