I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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