I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
