1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
