how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
