I think my vagina is haunted
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
