just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
