Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
