Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
