Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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