There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
