her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
