Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize