So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
