I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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