Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
my poor anus
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
