hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
this hospital has no fireball
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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