all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
