if i can run in heels then i can drive
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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