I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize