Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
