was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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