I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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