Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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