used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
