After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
