dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
