So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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