walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
