Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
