no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
