every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
