Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He did a backflip because drugs
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