Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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