4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
whose parrot is this?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
