omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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