dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
