Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
