U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
