Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
