true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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