Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You're like the curious george of whores
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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