whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
