belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
