no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
3pm strippers are depressing
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
