Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
