some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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