Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
