JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I can't trust your balls anymore.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
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