so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
