Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
