He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
