I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
