The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
