I'm gonna have a badass scar
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
