no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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