Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
