guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I am one with the molecules
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
