Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
